31 марта 2020 в 01:03
niki I’m sorry
I’m sitting in my bath tub reflecting about what’s going on in the world right now & what it means.
At first I was angry life was put on pause, but the more I sit through each day, I realize how much this was needed for me personally. I want to say sorry to friends or family I’ve let myself distance from bc “work has me wrapped up,” “I’m too busy,” or simply bc our lives just went different paths- that’s not a reason to lose quality people.
I want to also say thank you, for those who still reach out to me, follow me, or even just check in. I’m really grateful for who’s in my life currently, even when it used to take me way too long to return a simple text, or plans were cancelled bc of my mental health.
I want to say sorry to those who follow me. I know you’re probably like, why? Well, I’m sorry for adding to the image of false reality online. Sometimes making my life seem perfect helps me live a fantasy as if it is? Or maybe it’s a coping mechanism to feel better about myself? Or maybe it’s to keep you guys entertained so you won’t lose interest in me and want to stop being a part of this journey... but either way, I’m sorry.
I feel like it’s a really hard time for everyone right now, and I want to try my best to be there for you guys whether it’s online or personally. I’m no longer looking at this as an inconvenience, but as a way to reteach myself what’s actually important. to me, what’s the most important is love, connection, passion, and light. I want to continue being that for all of you whether we’re all stuck indoors, or it’s everyday life.
17 марта 2020 в 01:03
niki I’m scared, I’m doubtful, I’m confused, I’m trying, I’m crying, I’m making mistakes, I’m learning.
I’m praying, I’m hopeful, I’m grateful, I’m pulling from new strings I never knew I had. What’s going on right now is something that’ll change us all. I love you guys.
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